Small Ways to Love Yourself Today
By Nikki DuBose

For much of my life, loving myself didn’t come naturally. I spent years believing that love had to be earned — through achievement, perfection, or other people’s approval. It took a long time to understand that self-love isn’t about doing more or being more. It’s about learning to be gentle with yourself, right where you are.

Here are a few small ways I’ve learned — and am still learning — to love myself, even on the hardest days. Maybe they’ll speak to you, too.

1. Speak Kindly to Yourself

There was a time when my inner voice was my biggest critic. No matter what I accomplished, it was never enough. Learning to change that voice has been one of the greatest acts of healing. Now, when I notice harsh thoughts, I pause and remind myself: “I’m doing the best I can today.” That simple sentence has brought me more peace than years of striving ever did.

2. Take a Deep Breath and Be Here

When I start to spiral into worry or self-doubt, I come back to my breath. I place a hand on my heart and take a slow, deep inhale. Breathing reminds me that I’m alive, that this moment is enough, and that I don’t have to have everything figured out. Presence is one of the purest forms of self-love.

3. Do Something Small That Feeds Your Soul

Sometimes loving myself looks like writing in my journal, walking by the ocean, or making a cup of tea and doing absolutely nothing. These moments of stillness used to make me uncomfortable — I thought I always had to be productive. But the truth is, the soul needs rest, too.

4. Release Comparison

There’s always going to be someone who seems happier, prettier, or more “together.” For years, I chased after a version of myself that didn’t exist — an image built on comparison and perfectionism. Today, I remind myself that my worth isn’t measured against anyone else’s highlight reel. My journey is my own, and that’s something to celebrate.

5. Rest Without Guilt

I used to feel guilty for resting, as if pausing meant I was falling behind. Now, I see rest as an act of rebellion in a world that glorifies burnout. Rest is sacred. It’s a way of saying, “I matter.”

6. Write Yourself a Love Note

Every so often, I write myself a note that says, “I’m proud of you.” I tuck it into my journal or tape it to my mirror. Those little reminders help on the days I forget my worth. You don’t have to wait for someone else to tell you that you’re enough — you can start by telling yourself.

7. Reach Out and Connect

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Part of loving myself has meant letting others love me too — allowing myself to be seen, imperfections and all. Whether it’s calling a friend or sitting with someone who understands, connection reminds me that I’m never alone.

Learning to love yourself isn’t a one-time event; it’s a daily practice. Some days it feels easy, other days it feels impossible. But every small act — every gentle word, every deep breath, every moment of grace — builds a foundation of love that no one can take away.

So wherever you are today, start small. You don’t have to have it all together to be worthy of love. You already are.