Senate List – Child Victims Act

Call, Write, Email and Urge these New York Senators on Social Media to PASS the Child Victims Act!

(D) Addabbo Joseph 159-53 102nd St. Howard Beach, NY 11414 (718) 738-1111 613 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2322 (518) 426-6875
(R) Akshar Frederick 44 Hawley Street Room 1607 Binghamton, NY 13901 (607) 773-8771 805 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2677 (518) 426-6720
(D) Alcantara Marisol 5030 Broadway Suite 701 & 702 New York, NY 10034 (212) 544-0173 513 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2041 (518) 426-6847
(R) Amedore George 721 Broadway Suite 100 Kingston, NY 12401 (845) 331-3810 802 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2350 (518) 426-6751 Abuse @ guilderland school; voted no on floor in ’08 as an Assemblyman
(D) Avella Tony 38-50 Bell Boulevard Suite C Bayside, NY 11361 (718) 357-3094 902 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2210 (518) 426-6736 Support won’t co-sponsor
(D) Bailey Jamaal 959 East 233rd St. Bronx, NY 10466-3207 (718) 547-8854 707 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2061 (518) 426-6998
(R) Bonacic John 201 Dolson Avenue Suite F Middletown, NY 10940 (845) 344-3311 509 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3181 (518) 426-6948
(R) Boyle Phil 69 W Main Street Suite B Bay Shore, NY 11706 (631)
665-2311 814 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3411 (518) 426-6973 voted yes on floor in ’08 as Assemblyman
(D) Breslin Neil 414 State Capitol Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2225 (518) 426-6807
(D) Brooks John 5550 Merrick Road Suite 205 Massapequa, NY 11758 (516) 882-0630 302 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2765 (518) 426-6925 Support co-sponsor
(D) Carlucci David 20 South Main Street New City, NY 10956 (845) 623-3627 848 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2991 (518) 426-6737 Support co-sponsor
(D) Comrie Leroy 113-43 Farmers Boulevard St. Albans, NY 11412 (718) 454-0162 617 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2701 (518) 455-2816 Support co-sponsor
(R) Croci Tom 250 Veterans Memorial Highway NYS Office Building, Rm 3B-41 Hauppauge, NY 11788 (631) 360-3356 306 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3570 (518) 426-6741
(R) DeFrancisco John 800 State Office Building 333 E. Washington Street Syracuse, NY 13202 (315) 428-7632 416 State Capitol Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3511 (518) 426-6952 Oppose Opposes the window
(D) Diaz Ruben 900 Rogers Place Bronx, NY 10459 (718) 991-3161 606 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2511 (518) 426-6945 Oppose He’s given mixed signals to advocates, told the Leader he opposes
(D) Dilan Martin 573 Metropolitan Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11211 (718) 573-1726 711B Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2177 (518) 426-6947 Support co-sponsor
(D) Felder Simcha 1412 Avenue J Suite 2E Brooklyn, NY 11230 (718) 253-2015 944 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2754 (518) 426-6931 Oppose Opposed to complete elimination of civil SOL and window; position could change if Flanagan supports a bill
(R) Flanagan John 260 Middle County Road Suite 102 Smithtown, NY 11787 (631) 361-2154 330 State Capitol Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2051 (518) 426-6904 Oppose
(R) Funke Rich Packetts Landing Suite 230 Fairport, NY 14450 (585) 223-1800 905 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2215 (518) 426-6745
(R) Gallivan Patrick 2721 Transit Road Suite 116 Elma, NY 14059 (716) 656-8544 947 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3471 (518) 426-6949
(D) Gianaris Michael 31-19 Newtown Avenue Suite 402 Astoria, NY 11102 (718) 728-0960 413 State Capitol Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3486 (518) 426-6929 Support co-sponsor
(R) Golden Martin 7408 5th Avenue 1st Floor Brooklyn, NY 11209 (718) 238-6044 409 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2730 (518) 426-6910
(R) Griffo Joseph 207 Genesee Street Room 408 Utica, NY 13501 (315) 793-9072 612 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3334 (518) 426-6921
(D) Hamilton Jesse 1669 Bedford Avenue 2nd Floor & Mezzanine Brooklyn, NY 11225 (718) 284-4700 608 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2431 (518) 426-6856
(R) Hannon Kemp 595 Stewart Ave. Suite 540 Garden City, NY 11530 (516) 739-1700 420 State Capitol Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2200 (518) 426-6954
(R) Helming Pamela 119 Fall St. Seneca Falls, NY 13148 (315) 568-9816 509 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2366 (518) 426-6953
(D) Hoylman Brad 322 Eighth Avenue Suite 1700 New York, NY 10001 (212) 633-8052 413 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2451 (518) 426-6846 Support Bill Sponsor
(R) Jacobs Christopher 65 Court Street Rm 213 Buffalo, NY 14202 (716) 854-8705 946 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3240 (518) 426-6738
(D) Kaminsky Todd 55 Front Street Room 1 Rockville Centre, NY 11570 (516) 766-8011 311 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3401 (518) 426-6914 Support co-sponsor
(D) Kennedy Timothy 2239 South Park Avenue
Buffalo, NY 14220 (716) 826-2683 506 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2426 (518) 426-6851 Support co-sponsor
(D) Klein Jeffrey 1250 Waters Place Suite 1202 Bronx, NY 10461 (718) 822-2049 913 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3595 (518) 426-6887 Support co-sponsor
(D) Krueger Liz 1850 Second Avenue New York, NY 10128 (212) 490-9535 808 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2297 (518) 426-6874 Support co-sponsor
(R) Lanza Andrew 3845 Richmond Avenue Suite 2A Staten Island, NY 10312 (718) 984-4073 708 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3215 (518) 426-6852 Oppose Opposed to the window only
(R) Larkin William 1093 Little Britain Road New Windsor, NY 12553 (845) 567-1270 502 State Capitol Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2770 (518) 426-6923
(D) Latimer George 222 Grace Church Street Suite 300 Port Chester, NY 10573 (914) 934-5250 615 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2031 (518) 426-6860
(R) LaValle Kenneth 28 North Country Road Suite 203 Mount Sinai, NY 11766 (631) 473-1461 806 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3121 (518) 426-6826
(R) Little Elizabeth 5 Warren Street Suite 3 Glens Falls, NY 12801 (518) 743-0968 310 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2811 (518) 426-6873
(R) Marcellino Carl 250 Townsend Square Oyster Bay, NY 11771 (516) 922-1811 811 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2390 (518) 426-6975
(R) Marchione Kathleen 1 Halfmoon Town Plaza Halfmoon, NY 12065 (518) 371-2751 918 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2381 (518) 426-6985
(D) Montgomery Velmanette 30 Third Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11217 (718) 643-6140 903 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3451 (518) 426-6854 Support co-sponsor
(R) Murphy Terrence 40 Gleneida Avenue 3rd Floor Carmel, NY 10512 (845) 279-3773 817 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3111 (518) 426-6977
(R) O’Mara Thomas 105 East Steuben Street Bath, NY 14810 (607) 776-3201 307 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2091 (518) 426-6976 Oppose Opposes suing institutions; voted no in ’08 as an Assemblyman
(R) Ortt Robert 175 Walnut Street Suite 6 Lockport, NY 14094 (716) 434-0680 815 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2024 (518) 426-6987
(D) Parker Kevin 55 Hansen Place Suite 650 Brooklyn, NY 11217 (718) 629-6401 604 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2580 (518) 426-6843 Support co-sponsor
(D) Peralta Jose 32-37 Junction Boulevard East Elmhurst, NY 11369 (718) 205-3881 415 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2529 (518) 426-6909 Support co-sponsor
(D) Persaud Roxanne 1222 East 96th Street Brooklyn, NY 11236 (718) 649-7653 504 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2788 (518) 426-6806
(R) Phillips Elaine 252 Mineola Boulevard Mineola, NY 11501-2421 (516) 746-5924 915 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3265 (518) 426-6739
(R) Ranzenhofer Michael 8203 Main Street Suite 4 Williamsville, NY 14221 (716) 631-8695 609 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3161 (518) 426-6963 Oppose Staff said the senator doesn’t believe victims should be allowed to sue in civil court
(R) Ritchie Patty Dulles State Office Building Room 418 Watertown, NY 13601 (315) 782-3418 412 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3438 (518) 426-6740
(D) Rivera Gustavo 2432 Grand Concouse Suite 506 Bronx, NY 10458 (718) 933-2034 408 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3395 (518) 426-6858 Support co-sponsor
(R) Robach Joseph 2300 West Ridge Road Rochester, NY 14626 (585) 225-3650 803 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2909 (518) 426-6938
(D) Sanders James 142-01 Rockaway Blvd. South Ozone Park, NY 11436 (718) 523-3069 508 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3531 (518) 426-6859 Support co-sponsor
(D) Savino Diane 36 Richmond Terrace Suite 112 Staten Island, NY 10301 (718) 727-9406 315 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2437 (518) 426-6943 Support co-sponsor
(R) Serino Susan 4254 Albany Post Road Hyde Park, NY 12538 (845) 229-0106 812 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2945 (518) 426-6770
(D) Serrano Jose 1916 Park Avenue Suite 202 New York, NY 10029 (212) 828-5829 406 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2795 (518) 426-6886 Support co-sponsor
(R) Seward James 41 South Main Street Oneonta, NY 13820 (607) 432-5524 430 State Capitol Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3131 (518) 455-3123
(D) Squadron Daniel 250 Broadway Suite 2011 New York, NY 10013 (212) 298-5565 515 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2625 (518) 426-6956 Support co-sponsor
(D) Stavisky Toby 142-29 37th Ave Suite 1 Flushing, NY 11354 (718) 445-0004 706 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3461 (518) 426-6857 Support co-sponsor
(D) Stewart-Cousins Andrea 28 Wells Avenue Building 3 Yonkers, NY 10701 (914) 423-4031 907 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2585 (518) 426-6811 Support co-sponsor
(R) Tedisco James 636 Plank Rd. 1st Floor Clifton Park , NY 12065-2046 (518) 885-1829 711 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2181 (518) 426-6821 Voted no in “08 as an Assemblyman
(NA) Vacant Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247
S D Valesky David 805 State Office Building 333 East Washington Street Syracuse, New York 13202 (315) 478-8745 512 Legislative Office Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-2838 (518) 426-6885
(R) Young Catharine 700 West State Street Westgate Plaza Olean, NY 14760 (716) 372-4901 428 State Capitol Building Albany NY 12247 (518) 455-3563 (518) 426-6905 Oppose Opposes the window; voted yes on floor as Assembly Woman in ’08

Creating New Memories

Some weekend inspiration for you ⭐️
#Repost @enjoythej0urney (@get_repost)
Do you attach meaning to certain objects and places? My whole life, I’ve
shoved away and hidden the things that bring up bad memories for me. I never throw them away (just in case, as my OCD says) but I try to keep things out of plain view that bring me pain. ⤵️
How do you do this with something as large as an apartment? How do you cover up every wall that reminds you of the people who hurt to remember? How do you stay recovered in a space where it feels like the ghost of your sick self is lingering?⤵️
I moved my room around. 3 times. I’ve changed the furniture in my living room. I’ve painted over my bedroom walls. I reorganized my kitchen. And in the midst of that, I started to understand that we can’t cover up every physical thing that reminds us of pain. When it’s just a stuffed animal in the closet, or a bed switched to a different side of the room, it’s one thing. When it’s desperately trying to find a way to remove every single thing that brings back the hurt, it’s unrealistic and unattainable. Once you can accept that, you can search for another solution.⤵️
My solution? Create new memories. It’ll feel wrong for awhile. You won’t want to laugh in the room that reminds you of betrayal & judgment, but if you try, you will. You’ll feel like staying in a room that does not make you feel anything at all, but you’ll push yourself to be uncomfortable instead. Slowly, you’ll accept the pain. You’ll notice your feelings and you’ll let them go. And then you’ll realize that it’s okay to release what once hurt so badly, because it does not negate the fact that it happened. You came, you saw, you felt. Now, you move on.


Nature is God’s Artwork

Nature is God’s artwork. Sometimes when I’m having a stressful day, I take a walk outside, breathe in the fresh air, and take photos of the beautiful nature that I’m so blessed to be surrounded by.

Growing up in Charleston, South Carolina, I was exposed to all kinds of plants and wildlife, from alligators to pelicans, Crepe myrtles to the hanging Spanish moss trees.

On the west coast, the nature is quite different, but absolutely lovely. Did you know that you can find art anywhere? Those exposed branches on the side of the road, the dying flower, and dried leaves are all beautiful, it just takes a bit
of mindfulness to appreciate their beauty.
It’s just like us, sometimes when we don’t feel at our best, we can’t see what’s beautiful about ourselves. But God sees us perfectly and complete. We are never washed up or too dull for Him. We are all part of a larger masterpiece, a divine art that spans for all eternity.

My body belongs to me

#Repost @fatisnotanadjective (@get_repost)
On May 28, 2013, my life turned upside down in a way I could never imagine. What started as a simple, online friendship turned into an in-person meet up that didn’t go as planned. It turned into a day that I would never forget. It was the day that I was sexually assaulted. Being 14 years old, I knew something wasn’t right but I was too scared to say something.
On May 28, 2014, I attempted to take my own life because to me, it seemed like there was no other way out. My mind was flooded with the “it was your fault” thoughts and the nightmares would not go away. I was unable to escape the constant flashbacks and the feelings of disgust. I wanted out.
On May 28, 2015, I would wake up everyday, still hoping that I could eventually shower away my disgust. I thought that washing away the external dirt would erase the dirtiness I felt, but it wouldn’t. So time and time again, I would keep trying.
On May 28, 2016, I came to the realization that I couldn’t do this alone. I told someone.. It was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done but it was also the bravest thing. I wanted my life back and some day, I wanted my body to feel like my own.
Today, on May 28, 2017, I am refusing to give him the power any longer. This monster of a human is not worth my endless tears, horrible night terrors, continuous dissociation, and vivid flashbacks. I am worth more than what happened to me. My body belongs to me and it’s time for me to start treating it that way.

Pops of Color

#Repost @leenahlovesherself (@get_repost)
I love how this photo is mostly black & white with a splash of color. When you’re struggling with mental
illness (or even just life in general) everything can seem like a blur and like every thing is very one-note – like there isn’t any color or light.
However, even in the worst times, there are some pops of color. It can be SO challenging to see them, but they are there.
One way that we can find these moments is by choosing to practice mindfulness. When we anchor ourselves to the present moment instead of being in the past or future, we are able to see the little pops of color that life has to offer, even when times are tough ✨
(Photo by @cmrfx, wearing an @aerie bralette and a @capezio tutu)

Ex-state senator hired by Boy Scouts to lobby against Child Victims Act shows Albany swamp needs draining

When you’re a crook, there are no limits to the depths you will go to cover up your filth. Just ask most of the New York politicians, including former Senator Craig Johnson, who is a key ally and fundraising partner for the Independent Democratic Conference, led by Senator Jeff Klein.

Read the full article on NY Daily News.

Podcast: Surviving My Past with Nikki DuBose

Listen to the inspiring podcast!

Trauma survivors come from all walks of life, all over the world, and while each of us are unique individuals in our own right, our survivor stories is often very similar. It’s that similarity that helps us all connect, relate, and unite in a common goal of healing and awareness.

Those similarities were evident once again, when I recently had the opportunity to speak with Abuse Survivor, Author, Advocate, and Ambassador, Nikki DuBose. It was such a privilege to spend some time talking with Nikki about not only her past; the abuse and trauma that she endured, but also about her advocacy work now and her amazing story of survival.

As a former model, Nikki has spent time in the public spotlight, living and working all over the world, but at the same time, also hiding a secret of a traumatic past that she could not escape.

More on Nikki’s story here.


Black Girl Magic

Starting this Friday off with some #selflove and #beauty 💕💕💕💕 For my African Queens 👸🏽

#Repost @fatisnotanadjective
As I previously mentioned, I will be posting some of the pages I have found the most inspirational throughout the month. Today- let’s show @sassy_latte some love!!! #Repost @sassy_latte 
Black girl magic, you ask? Is it real?
We are told our skin is too dark, yet we glow with pride. We’re told our hair is kinky and short, yet we grow our Afros big enough to block out the sun and locs so long they drag on the ground. We’re slut shamed for birthing children by different men, yet we raise our children, often alone, with passion and perseverance. We’re told we’re ghetto, loud, and dumb, yet we’re quickly becoming the highest educated population in the country. We’re told throughout history that our bodies are exotic and should be used sexually, yet we’re learning to stand in solidarity and take back ownership of our sexuality. We’re painted as desperate arm candy to rappers and athletes, yet many of us own our own businesses and organizations.
The list goes on. The obstacles never end. The judgment never ceases. The only thing that holds true is that Black Women keep shedding light on these myths. We keep our heads held high. We keep surpassing boundaries placed around us. We keep charming the masses despite being told we’re nothing. We keep pushing back, fighting for ourselves and one another. We keep proving you wrong and changing your mind. What else could that be?… To come from the ashes of slavery in America, to endure the metaphorical shackles of the present, and to be born-again QUEENS? … It has to be Magic. Black Girl Magic. And only We have it.

Charlene McElhinney’s Book Review of Washed Away: From Darkness to Light by Nikki Dubose

After reading Nikki’s memoir I was lost for words. What a remarkable woman, I thought, and oh so courageous! To openly speak out about darker times in your past is draining, difficult and so daunting (I know because I’ve also opened up about my mental health issues through the form of poetry in book form). Putting it out there, for the world to see, is absolutely terrifying. And Nikki shares so much with us. You can’t fault a word in Nikki’s memoir: It is her whole life in your hands. You can feel it. You can feel her pain, her thought process, and more importantly – her desire to be loved. Nikki desperately wanted to be loved throughout her whole life and it breaks your heart reading about her life knowing that there is nothing you can do. I wanted to reach out to this young girl and tell her she is deeply loved – if only someone had.

Read the full review at Charlene McElhinney.

My girl @fatisnotanadjective knows what beauty is!!!!

#Repost @fatisnotanadjective with @repostapp
Today’s theme for self love boot camp is flashback Friday. Usually the idea of this is an old picture of you and a more recent picture but to me, that’s not helpful. So- I want to put a little spin on this and compare my old thoughts to new thoughts.
In addition to this being a flashback Friday, I also want to include the turn it around project.
In the depths of mental illness, I struggled with the thought that I was never good enough. But, through a lot of hard work, dedication, and thought challenging, I have learned that I am more than good enough. The most important thing is that I feel good enough for myself, and I can finally say that I do. The things I once hated about myself have turned into things I love.
I am not saying that negative thoughts never happen, because they most definitely do. There are days where getting out of bed seems like the hardest task. But eventually, (maybe after a couple hours, a couple days, or heck, even a couple months) I realize that my worth goes beyond the shitty thoughts that flood my head.
I know that it can be so hard and sometimes such a battle in your head, but keep fighting my loves. It’s never too late to turn it around.
#turnitaroundproject #washedaway #rolemodelsunite #booklovers

Walk in my shoes, hear my story.


Dear Friends,

On June 7th, 2017, Gary Greenberg of Fighting for Children PAC (Protect NY Kids), Peaceful Hearts Foundation and Nikki DuBose along with Lauren’s Kids will host a “Walk in My Shoes” display at the Albany Capitol with accompanying stories from survivor’s/victims impact statements displayed to raise awareness during Children’s Awareness Month. Although this month typically brings awareness to the violence against kids, we are standing up and calling forth to the sexual violence and sexual abuse that affects more than 43,000 children annually in the state of New York and more than 43,000,000 around the nation. You can help in two ways. 

  1. Donating shoes. We are collecting men’s shoes, women’s shoes, children’s shoes of all types – high end, tattered, athletic, and so forth, to show that sexual violence can affect anyone, regardless of age, race, religion, gender, socioeconomic status, etc. We need shoes and stories to show lawmakers the enormous impact that sexual violence has on our society. After the event, all of the shoes will be donated to a local homeless shelter or rape crisis center.
  2. Participating virtually. Take a picture of your shoes and upload to social media with the #walkinmyshoes #s809 along with a sentence on why ending child sexual abuse is so important to you. We will repost every entry.


You can contact and for more info.

Please send shoes to:

Kathie Alvaro
2568 Western Ave.
Apt 5-7
Altamont, N.Y. 12009

THANK YOU for joining us in the pledge to end child sexual abuse!!



Peaceful Hearts Foundation, Nikki DuBose, Gary Greenberg and Lauren’s Kids



Addiction Hope: Marijuana Dubbed the Next “Wonder Drug” for Heroin Patients

This year I am celebrating six years of sobriety from alcohol and drugs, addictions that took seed at thirteen years old. Actually, I had my first drink at three because my late mother thought it would be funny to see my reaction after sipping a Long Island Iced Tea.

It wasn’t funny, though, as my genetic makeup combined with an abusive environment laid the groundwork for unhealthy coping behaviors to manifest. As a teen, I grabbed onto alcohol, prescription pills, cocaine and LSD like candy and water.

Needing More and More

Eventually, I needed more and more to create the “high” feeling to take me away from reality. At some point, “high” wasn’t good enough anymore, and I needed death to quiet my loneliness.

Read the full blog post at Addiction Hope.

Nikki DuBose: Washed Away

Remember back when I read Lady Injury, when I told you that I liked a book…but then warned you not to read it? That’s exactly how I feel about Washed Away. In fact, the books are as similar as they are different, just as the two women are. Both books are about eating disorders and extremely severe mental illness. Both books are horrifically triggering and devastating. But, just as no two people are the same, no two mental illnesses are the same–and thus, no two memoirs could be the same either.

Read the full review at I Lay Reading.

#Don’tMiss Loving Yourself in Recovery

It’s so easy to miss the signs and symptoms of an eating disorder. I know, because I had one for over seventeen years, and I was a master at not only hiding it from my family and friends, but deceiving myself into thinking that I didn’t have one.

Thankfully, with the help of God and my support team, I was able to get into a healthy place in my life and learn that it is possible to recover. And just as easy as it is to miss an eating disorder, it’s easy to miss loving yourself in recovery. I am a hard worker, and I love helping others, in fact, it’s one of the things that has helped me to recover. So in this VLOG for the Eating Recovery Roundup, I’ve decided to focus on #DontMiss loving yourself in recovery. Enjoy, and if you have any self love or self care tips you’d like to share, email me at

With love and gratitude,

Nikki DuBose

NY Daily News: Child sex abuse survivors fear Cuomo walking back promise to push Child Victims Act

Nikki DuBose, an abuse victim and former model, said she is “quite annoyed” that Cuomo doesn’t seem to be pushing harder for passage of a bill.

“The governor is failing his constituents — those who are abused, abandoned and who cannot advocate for themselves,” DuBose said in an email.

Read the full article on The New York Daily News.

Facebook Live Chat with Suzy Favor Hamilton and Nikki DuBose: Women and Mental Health in 2017

Eating Disorder Hope: How Children’s Body Confidence Can Start at Home

I remember the first time I felt self-conscious about my appearance. I was four, and my cousin Thomas proceeded to make fun of the birthmark on my butt cheek, which is shaped like a man’s face. It was then that I felt shame, realizing that my body was something others could use to make fun of.

A few years later, I binged to deal with sexual and physical abuse by my mother and a male figure. Looking back, I realize how much I was bullied within my own family; harmful words were used to describe my maturing body and face.

In turn, I developed body dysmorphic disorder, bulimia, and suicidal tendencies.

Negative Body Talk in the Home

Children are vulnerable, sensitive to their environments. If parents and caretakers are not careful, poor choices in words can have damaging effects on their children’s mental health.

Read the full blog post at Eating Disorder Hope.

Eating Disorder Hope: Creating Art to Recover from Eating Disorders

I was naturally a shy, introverted child. Add in an abusive environment, a mother with severe mental illness, substance abuse, and an early battle with eating disorders, and my shyness was lit on fire.

Turning inward to the extreme and developing depression, playdates in my room with stencils, colored pencils and drawing pads were my everything. This was my way to connect to life and imaginary people.

Read the full blog post at Eating Disorder Hope.

PsychCentral: Sexual Predators Employed at Summer Camps in Florida, New York Still Failing Children

Child sexual predators often place themselves in areas where they have easy access to children. This is one reason why teachers, babysitters, nannies, mothers, fathers, priests, and summer camp workers make excellent abusers. And while Florida has made great strides to protect children from predators in child-care centers, they are falling behind in one major area: summer camp. (1)

Recently, the Palm Beach Post probed and discovered that camps in Florida have no restrictions, therefore there are no boundaries placed on how the camps operate. (1) Abuse can happen and does happen, and nobody is there to prevent or stop it.

Read the full blog at PsychCentral.

Defying Mental Illness: Exclusive Interview with former model turned Author and Mental Health Advocate, Nikki DuBose

Defying Mental Illness (DMI) recently had the unique and exclusive opportunity to meet Nikki and interview her. Nikki’s story is truly remarkable and will inspire you…

DMI: Wow, Nikki, what an honour to interview you today. You have an interesting story that you would like to share with DMI. You were a former model that was climbing high in your career at remarkable speed. However, there was a dark side you were struggling with.

You were challenged with several mental disorders. While you were probably the envy of your friends, secretly, they were your envy! Tell us, a little bit about who Nikki first and foremost. Give us an insight into your childhood.

Read the full interview on Defying Mental Illness.

Free and Above – Washed Away: From Darkness to Light

We recently got to ask Nikki DuBose – A former model turned author, speaker, and mental health advocate a few questions.

Here’s what we got to talk about.

1) Do you have any advice for young teens and young adults battling with an eating disorder who want to get better and start their road to recovery but don’t know where to begin or don’t think they’re strong enough to make that commitment of an everyday fight to recover and start the healing process?

Read the full interview on Free and Above.

Chiaki Evaldsson’s Review of Washed Away: From Darkness to Light

Nikki DuBose is a mental health advocate, ambassador, public speaker and writer. She is also a former model who has experienced the dark side of the fashion industry. Her harrowing journey includes childhood abuse, addiction, self harm, rape, eating disorders, psychosis and various other mental health issues. It’s undoubtable a frightening read, but an important one.
We follow Nikki from childhood, through her years as a teenager and as an adult. Divided into chapters with focus on different themes, she provides us with an honest account of what was going through her head at the time and how she experienced it. It’s refreshing to read something so raw and sincere.

Read the full review at TheTrueSea.

Fiona Likes to Blog: 3 mental health books you MUST read today

I’ve spent many an afternoon wandering around the library. To me the library has always been a place of opportunity, and it has helped me find books that ignite new interests and explain unknown worlds to me. I’ve loved collecting books over the years, and looking back at my favourites reminds me if where I was at that point in my life, how I was feeling and what I was doing.

Having depression and anxiety means I often look for answers in the books I read. Recently I reflected on some of the books that helped me make sense of my own mental illness and it’s something that I think you might find helpful, so I’ve listed my top 3 books below.

Read the full article at Fiona Likes to Blog.

Bay Area Women Against Rape (BAWAR) Urges Commonwealth Club to Cancel Whole Foods CEO Appearance

A consortium of anti-sexual violence groups led by Bay Area Women Against Rape (BAWAR) has asked the Commonwealth Club of California to cancel the appearance of Whole Foods CEO John Mackey, scheduled for May 1. Mackey is set to appear at the Cubberley Theatre in Palo Alto, in conversation with Dr. Dean Ornish.​

Read more on The Digital Journal.

Addiction Hope: Q & A with Author Nikki DuBose on Addiction

Author Nikki DuBose of Washed Away: From Darkness to Light was recently interviewed on addiction and recovery. Here she offers a recap on everything from when her addiction began to how to help a loved one who may be suffering.

1. Can you pinpoint when your problems with addiction began?

I was wired for addiction – my mother had bipolar and dissociative identity disorder and her mother (she was adopted) died from cirrhosis of the liver as a result of alcoholism.

Read the full article on Addiction Hope. 

Eating Disorder Hope: Learning to Trust God in Recovery Process

“. . . Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me . . .”

I let the words sink in, and then I looked out my bedroom window that overlooked the water; for once, I took in the scenery not in fear, but in admiration of the sun as it descended below the horizon. The setting of the sun was a reminder of the magnificence of creation.

“If God made the sun, surely he made me. He must love me, too. I’m going to believe that no matter what, God is with me. When I’m afraid, God is right by my side. I might not see Him physically, but I can see him with my soul; simply because I believe that God is with me, He is,” I thought.

Washed Away: From Darkness to Light

Today as I hiked with my blind and deaf Australian Shepherd and friends up and down rocky trails and around the azure waves of the Pacific, I was amazed at the beauty of God’s creation and the magnitude of his power.

Read the full article at Eating Disorder Hope.

Fiona Likes To Blog | Opening up about mental illness in the modelling industry – Washed Away by Nikki Dubose

I had no idea what to expect going into this book. I never thought I’d finish the thing in just a few days and feel so utterly connected to someone I’d never met. Knowing Nikki’s story has reminded me why I started to write about mental illness online, even though it often leaves me feeling vulnerable to expose myself to the world.

Read the full review at Fiona Likes to Blog.

Addiction Hope: From Victim to Victorious

I had to get rid of the victim mentality to move forward in my healing journey. I couldn’t become a victor until I stopped believing that I was a victim.

Victim and victor sound similar, but the only thing that separates them are the last two letters; a small difference, with an enormous impact. Sometimes in life two letters is all it takes – or that extra dedication to recovery – to make a substantial change.

Read the full article at Addiction Hope.

Eating Disorder Hope: The Process of Transformation

When recovering from eating disorders and body dysmorphia, one of the biggest challenges can be to change our inner perception, that negative self-talk, especially when we have a distorted outer vision of ourselves.

The Way We See Ourselves

However, we must consciously work on shifting the way we see ourselves on the inside, before we will ever love who we are on the outside. Everything begins in the mind. In my debut memoir, Washed Away: From Darkness to Light, I write about how I was able to wipe away that negative, monstrous outer image, starting from the inside [1].

Read the rest of the blog on Eating Disorder Hope.

PsychCentral: With Child Sexual Abuse, Awareness is Critical, but Prevention is Key

My parents trusted Robbie since he played Mr. Fix-it, but Uncle Robbie played other games—secret games that only he and I knew about. Whenever he fixed something in my house, and no one was around, he asked me to play. At first, I agreed, but soon I discovered that these were not fun games, they were painful. These were games I never won.

Read the full article on PsychCentral.

Plaid for Women – From Darkness to Light: A Journey from Mental Illness & Abuse to Finding My Voice

You had a very rough start in life. Tell us about your childhood.

I grew up in a violent, dysfunctional family, however, hardly anyone knew that because I went to a private Christian school and we lived in a nice house. My parents divorced when I was two and my mom remarried to a much older man who kind of swept her off her feet.

Starting at four, I was subjected to physical abuse and then at 8, sexual abuse by a male figure. I developed binge eating disorder as a way to cope with the trauma, and later Body Dysmorphic Disoder and bulimia, which lasted for over fifteen years. My mom sexually abused me from the ages of 9 to 13 until the police removed me from my house. I suppressed those memories until my late twenties.

Read the full interview at Plaid for Women.

Nikki DuBose Challenges Whole Foods

Former model turned author and activist Nikki DuBose, was in San Francisco to challenge Whole Foods Co-CEO John Mackey to stand up for child sexual abuse survivors and speak about her role in the Omnibus Child Victims Act in the state of New York.

Pick up Nikki’s book Washed Away: From Darkness to Light on Amazon.

Eating Disorder Hope: Eating Disorders and High School Life

During my first day at James Island High, I wandered aimlessly through the halls. Hundreds of students buzzed by, but I couldn’t hear anything for the dark voices. “Nobody will ever be your friend. You’re a loser!” I kept my head down toward the gum-spattered floors. I wanted to spare everyone from my hideous appearance. When the teachers called out my name During roll call, I didn’t answer; instead, I sulked in the back of the class, afraid to utter a single word.

As the days passed on through March, I wanted to disappear. I was certain that if I stayed at James Island High much longer, everyone was going to find out about my past. Deep down, I longed for others to understand, but I knew that no one could, so I avoided conversations at all costs.

During lunch, I anxiously raced through the lines and grabbed a couple of brown paper bags and desserts. I thought it best to dodge the noisy chatter at the tables and skipped straight ahead to the bathroom stalls. There I at least had silence. The crinkle noises my sandwiches made as I unwrapped them was all the friendship I needed. I had my food, and I had my thoughts. Although, I questioned my thoughts most of the time. I could only sit with my thoughts for a few minutes before purging; it seemed like the rational method to rid myself of the pain.

Read the full blog post at Eating Disorder Hope. 

Another Great Review of Washed Away: From Darkness to Light

I squeezed in between Vanessa and Sarah on the bow of the sea doo boat and leaned my head back into my shoulders to let the sun bake away at the freakishly boy short tan lines on the tops of my thighs. As the boat bobbled further away from the campground on the small lake waves, Sarah pulled out a bag of chips. Vanessa tapped her stomach and shook her head no and then she patted mine.

“I envy your tummy you know. Always have.”

“I do too. It’s so flat. You must do something at home,” Lana said from behind.

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and I quickly draped a Minnie Mouse beach towel over myself.

“No, I don’t do anything.”

“Well I’ve been doing these crunches that I saw in my mom’s magazine. I do like 100 of them. I brought it with me. We should all do them when we get back.”

Read the full review at All Work And No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something

BodyMatters Australia – Meet Nikki DuBose: Former Model, Author, Speaker and Mental Health Advocate

Trigger warning: Descriptions of eating disordered behaviour and abuse.

In December last year we were lucky enough to have the opportunity to speak with the lovely Nikki DuBose about her recent memoir Washed Away: From Darkness to Light, her experiences in the modelling industry, her current advocacy work and her inspiring path to recovery from an eating disorder.

Read the full interview at BodyMatters Australia.

She’s Fit to Lead: Book Review – Washed Away by Nikki DuBose

What is the life of a high fashion model. Is it all glam and fame and perfection? Are those celebrity models we idolize like Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid really leading the amazing life that we perceive? Or is it a life of “fakes and… lies,” as top Australian Model Ajak Deng announced last year when she left the industry that she said she could no longer take? Or even one that is literally making its participants sick as writer turned model Madison Schill asserted in a Glamour Magazine article, detailing, among other things, how her agent literally asked her if she “drank butter for water.”

In her new, both disturbing and inspiring memoir, Washed Away: From Darkness to Light, former model, Nikki Dubose, who has appeared on the covers of and in editorials for all the biggies – Maxim, Glamour, Vogue, Vanity Fair and more lends her voice to this debate.

Read the full book review at She’s Fit to Lead.

This road called adoption

There is a road I’m walking on that I never thought I would. The road is simultaneously full of potholes and patches of silky, green grass. At times, just when I feel as though I’ve reached the end of this road, the wind whispers, and I realize I’ve been fooled. The illusion fades, melting the road into a thousand miles again.

Read the full post at PsychCentral.

Addiction Hope: I’m an Addict – Who Cares About my Attitude?

It may be easy to think that our attitude doesn’t matter when we are recovering, but I beg to differ. I have found that having the right attitude has been just as important as forgiveness and perseverance. In my new memoir, Washed Away: From Darkness to Light, I share why attitude is critical for those recovering from addictions.

When I made the decision to leave the modeling industry, I was forced to confront all of my destructive behaviors and truths head on. Life was not fun anymore; it was painful because I had to face my real self. On top of it all, I had to recover, and there were many times where my family and I thought that I was going to die; living became a moment-by-moment process, not day-by-day.

But pushing through, and working with my mentor helped me to understand that having the right attitude was essential to my recovery because life is life and it is not going to change according to my feelings. If it did, then I’d float around on a pink, fluffy cloud all day and avoid pain and growth! That’s not realistic, though; to rise higher, we have to feel pain. Keeping the right attitude makes the growth process tolerable, and it helps to develop our character, which is necessary for every stage of life.

Read the full blog post at Addiction Hope.

Q&A with Authors and Advocates Suzy Favor Hamilton & Nikki DuBose

The Mighty sat down with NYT best-selling author Suzy Favor Hamilton (Fast Girl) and Nikki DuBose (Washed Away: From Darkness to Light) for a Q&A about sex and mental illness.



Nikki DuBose is a former model turned author who is nothing short of a superhero. Nikki released her memoir Washed Away: From Darkness to Light in September of 2016 in which she reveals her journey to self-care. As an advocate for mental health, Nikki is a Celebrity Ambassador for The Shaw Mind Foundation, and has worked with assembly members such as Marc Levine on addressing the need for updated workplace protections within the modeling industry.

We had the opportunity to speak with Nikki about some of the work she has been doing, her journey to get there, and what is next to come.

Read the full interview online at Novella Magazine.

Eating Disorder Hope: How Eating Disorders Affect Work and School

Being broke, frustrated, and uncertain about the future wasn’t such a bad thing. The ball was in my corner; I could start over clean on the West Coast. I left Charleston on a Saturday morning around nine and hightailed it through the states.

The next day, Sunday evening, I rolled up to my new place in Mission Valley. It was a little after eleven; I lugged all of my trash bags into the shared apartment and fell asleep on the couch.

On Monday, I took my remaining money, and on a whim, enrolled in another school. Southern California Esthetics Institute was a four-month-long, intensive esthetician program, and it started the next day.

On the way back to the apartment, I called Dad from the car and told him about my new plan. He was impressed by my persistence to obtain a degree and wired me money to help with the expenses. I felt ridden with guilt; I knew he couldn’t afford to pay my way through school, so I looked for a job right away.

Read the full post on Eating Disorder Hope.

PsychCentral: Paranoia my old friend

The other day, while sitting and rehashing all of my thoughts over to my psychiatrist through the computer screen, I began to feel annoyed. There he was, blissfully writing away on his notepad, while I regurgitated the same, unhappy words. “What does he really think? And why does he find my pain so funny?” I thought. But then I stopped and started to listen to my words. And I realized something. As much as I had tried to fool myself into thinking that I was no longer a paranoid person, or unaffected by the thoughts and behaviors of others, I was completely and utterly wrong.

So I snapped out of my tunnel, looked him square in the eyes (which can be hard for me to do with him), and said, “Stop writing on your little notepad.” He stopped. I noticed that he was maintaining that smirk on his face. I continued. “No matter how much I talk to you, my paranoia still exists, and in fact, it seems to get worse. And…all you can do is smile. I feel crazy!”

Read more on PsychCentral.

PsychCentral: Whole Foods CEO, Gafni & Senator among those trying to silence victims of child sexual abuse

On February 28th, from 11am to 1pm, myself, along with many other prominent leaders, will be speaking at the Omni Hotel in San Fransisco. Our message to Whole Foods CEO John Mackey will be very clear: reject your relationship with former rabbi, spiritual leader Marc Gafni.

The reasoning for our demand is credible: The New York Times cited Mackey’s and Gafni’s relationship, as well as Gafni’s alleged sexual abuse of a 14-year-old. Ever since I found out last year, I have been protesting for Mackey to step up as a business leader, and speak for the millions of consumers who have been sexually abused. Refusing to do so and remaining silent on the issue, Mackey is enabling the culture of sexual abuse, something that I am all too familiar with. His silence and failure to advocate for consumers demonstrates his inability to be socially and ethically responsible. For more than a year I have stopped shopping at Whole Foods as a direct result of this issue. The Washington Post covered a national protest that I helped organize and participated in along with Peaceful Hearts Foundation, NAASCA, and author Nancy Levine (The Tao of Pug).

The way I see it, Mackey has had significant time to respond to this situation and address the growing culture of child sex abuse and violence. Instead, Mackey has remained friends with Gafni, and Whole Food’s organization, Conscious Capitalism, which was founded by Mackey, has blocked my Twitter account.

Read the full article on PsychCentral.

Donovan’s Literary Services Review of Washed Away

Model and author Nikki DuBose struggled with a variety of mental health issues for nearly twenty years; all while forging a career in the demanding fashion industry. Her problems began in childhood, where she was emotionally and sexually abused, and as patterns of self-abuse influenced her choices and progress in life, she found her self in a puzzling juxtaposition between success and failure as she worked as a TV host and began her modeling career.
While on the surface she appeared to be successful, traveling the world and leading a life that seemed enviable, in reality her struggles with PTSD, eating disorders, and mental and physical challenges were never-ending and became life threatening on more than one level.
Washed Away: From Darkness to Light tells her story and illuminates the forces which contributed to her warped self image and the paths she took to emerge from her personal version of hell.

Read the full review at Donovan’s Literary Services.

Miss Millennia Mag – Advocate for Yourself #LikeaGirl: An Interview with Nikki DuBose

Nikki DuBose is a former model turned author, speaker, and mental health advocate. She recently released her memoir, Washed Away: From Darkness to Light. In Washed Away, Nikki recounts her experiences navigating the dark side of the modeling industry, while battling abuse, addiction, and various mental health issues. She recently appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Network on the TD Jakes Show to speak about her recovery from Body Dysmorphic Disorder and eating disorders, and how the pressure to “fit into” the modeling industry nearly killed her.

Keep reading to learn more about this incredibly strong and inspiring woman, Nikki!

Read the full interview on Miss Millennia Mag.

a plus: Model-Turned-Activist Nikki Dubose Is Speaking Out Against Ineffective Sexual Abuse Laws In New York

Nikki Dubose says she won’t give up on her fight make kids safer.

The 31-year-old model-turned-activist has already made a name for herself by speaking up about sexual assault. Now, though, she’s taking the platform she’s built and using it to try and change laws to protect children from sexual violence.

Her first stop? New York, where she’s hoping to help push through The Omnibus Child Victims Act.

“In New York, they have the worst laws in the entire nation as far as protecting children from sexual abuse,” DuBose told A Plus. “There is only a five-year window after you’re 18 years old that someone can report what has happened to them.”

Read more on a plus.

Jenni Schaefer Interviews Nikki DuBose on her memoir: Washed Away From Darkness to Light

“Author, speaker, and mental health advocate, Nikki DuBose, epitomizes the word brave. She courageously talks about tough topics that others shy away from. I know, because I am one. For a long time, I wasn’t prepared to talk about my own trauma. (I didn’t even realize I had experienced trauma.) But, with the support of people like Nikki, I have opened up. Thanks, Nikki, for encouraging many of us to share our stories. With this post, I am thrilled to have had the chance to interview Nikki about the release of her memoir, Washed Away: From Darkness to Light.”

Read the full interview on Jenni Schaefer.