Stripped Down…The Naked Truth about Eating Disorders

I am so thankful that I went through all of the hell that I went through for so long because it has made me into the strong person on the inside that I am today. I believe that without all of the struggles I wouldn’t be half the woman I am now and I wouldn’t be able to help you become an overcomer as well. Going through an eating disorder for most of my life was literally hell on Earth and sometimes I thought “God, why me?”

There were many times that I was going through the thick of things that I would be totally alone and so sick and just wanted to give up on it all.  I don’t know if you are familiar with my background but I was abused sexually, physically, and mentally growing up as a child by a couple of people close to me and basically was left to fend for myself for most of my life.  My mother died last year an alcoholic and I watched her go through some horrible things that no child should ever have to see their parent go through.  I really didn’t have a childhood.  I never really felt that I had someone to turn to.  I guess in many ways my eating disorder was at one time or another my best friend, my confidant, the one thing that served me, although dangerous.

Eating disorders are a one way trip down to hell, and fast.  They steal every single bit of life from you and nothing about them is glamorous.  Don’t ever look at my pictures, or pictures in a magazine and measure your self worth or your looks according to them.  First of all, they are always, always, ALWAYS retouched a million times over and trust me, besides the eating disorder, you do not want to spend your life dieting and exercising and living on a model’s travel schedule to have the figure that we have.

Get it into your head that you are a person of high value and that you are someone who can contribute limitless, wondrous, amazing things to this world, that does not involve your appearance!  Be a world changer, a people-helper.  Be someone that makes a difference in another person’s life.

How do you be the change you want to see?  First, you have to believe it and let it sink down every day on the inside. Second, you have to block out all of the negative voices from all of the people who have hurt you.  Can I tell you a secret?  They don’t matter!  If someone doesn’t accept you for the way you are, you don’t need them.  Surround yourself with goodness, love, and positivity.

Stripped down, without the eating disorder, the addictions, the bad habits, who are you?  What feelings and emotions are you burying inside?  What things are bothering you?  What do you need to leave in the past and trust that God is bringing in your future? Do you know who you are without your “safety net?”

Our addictions and bad habits become like a snuggle blanket to a child in many ways, and we learn to use them for comfort when our emotions become uncomfortable.  When we start to go through recovery, the blanket is taken away, and we feel naked at at times, unable to know how to react on our own two feet.  We may feel ashamed, worried, guilty, embarrassed, sad, lonely, afraid, angry and very confused.  This is all normal.  Feeling stripped down, naked and like a newborn baby in our emotions is expected and a good thing because this means we are learning to experience life in a healthy way; without our disorders guiding us.  We can move forward one moment, one day at a time with God and all of the resources and therapies, books, people, places and things available to us in recovery, knowing that in due time we will grow to be fully clothed in victory.

God Bless,
Nikki DuBose

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