The Hope Diary: Step Seven: Humility and Asking God to Remove our Defects

Step Six was all about getting ready for God to remove our defects in order that He may help us to be all that He has created us to be. Step Seven now is simply and humbly coming before God in prayer and asking Him to remove every shortcoming that stands in the way between us and our God-Given Purpose.

Being a humble person is so important because without it it is pretty impossible to recognize our defects and to be people that can ask God to help us. I daily come to God in prayer in the morning and all throughout the day and ask God for His help now because I know that I know that I know that without Him I can do nothing. Within myself I am weak addicted and a total mess but In Christ I am strong confident courageous and an overcomer. I am set free from every attack that satan tries to bring against me because God is with me and for me.

Thank you to The Life Recovery Workbook by Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop for the following questions.

Clearing the Mess
Isaiah 57:12-19

1. Have I developed enough humility from my experiences in addiction to see that I need to let God work in my heart. Is there any doubt that self-reliance has kept God out.

2. Describe the difference between humiliation and humility.

Giving up Control
Jeremiah 18:1-6

1. Have I ever demanded to have circumstances changed for my benefit. When.

2. Have I ever become impatient with God’s timing in the process of changing my heart and character.

3. What keeps me from letting go so that God can shape my life better than I could ever imagine or create myself.

Pride Born of Hurt
Luke 11:5-13

1.Is it hard for me to ask anyone even God for help. What keeps me from sharing.

2. What experiences in my family of origin have brought about this self-sufficiency.

3. Have I held back from asking God for what I need because I am projecting my disappointments onto Him. Do I trust Him.

4. Am I willing to give up self-sufficiency and pride to persistently ask for God’s help in removing my shortcomings.

A Humble Heart
Luke 18:10-14

1. Have I ever compared my faults/problems/sins to blatant sins of others such as robbery/murder/adultery to justify avoiding deeper work on my own character defects. What does this do for me.

2. Have I ever justified myself because I attend church/sing in the choir/do service work. Do I judge others for their lack of participation or involvement.

3. After self-examination in Steps Four through Six have I been struggling with self-hatred and shame.

4. Do I realize that the “secret sins” of pride/judgement/comparison are just as serious as the more blatant ones.

5. Have addiction and adversities humbled me enough to open the door to God’s forgiveness.

Declared Not Guilty
Romans 3:23-28

1. Steps Six and Seven re one path to acceptance of this verse: all of us have fallen short not only of our own ideals but also of God’s glory. Have I been trying to “measure up” and show God that I can “be good” by doing good works. How have I tried to show him that I am okay.

2. Can I now trust in faith that Jesus will not only make up for my weaknesses but will also begin to remove shortcomings as I surrender humbly to his will. If not why.

Into the Open
Philippians 2:5-9

1. Have I disguised my addiction by covering it up with a good image. Have I hidden behind a good reputation.

2. Do I still fear that others will find out about my addiction. Will my pride be hurt if someone knows the extent of it. Am I willing to share it if it will help others.

3. Can I release to God my self-centered fears of being known and of losing my image. If so write a prayer to God expressing your desire to do so.

Eyes of Love
1 John 5:11-15

1. God already sees us as we will be when his work is done. Am I aware of any blocks that keep me from asking him into my heart to do that work. What are they.

2. Is my confidence in God’s willingness to remove my shortcomings renewed. How and why.

God Bless,

Nikki DuBose

The Hope Diary: Step Three: Turning my life and will over to God.

Oh boy. You mean as if this recovery process wasn’t hard enough, I now had to turn my life and will over to the care of God as I understood Him? For me, God was always taught as the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Personal Savior when I was in the second grade. I went out into the hallway with my sweet, devoted teacher Mrs. Hammock and right there and then I gave my life to Christ. However, if I had become saved and supposedly received some sort of Holy “immunity” against all evils and afflictions, why the heck had I developed a chronic and serious eating disorder that same year? Wasn’t God supposed to shield me from that?

In fact, come to think of it, about that time is when I remember starting to encounter all sorts of terrible abuses, issues, traumas, deaths, and they never stopped. If God was with me, He sure as heck didn’t care to give me an all access pass to life, liberty and the right to happiness. No, I wallowed for a long time in my own self pity and that my dear friends, is what kept me in my own unhappiness and addictions.

Once I really hit rock bottom in 2010 emotionally and decided to recommit my life to Christ, seek professional therapy for my past, and get help for my eating disorder, for the first time in my life, then I saw what God could do for me. But I had to turn my life over to Him every day. I have a disease of addiction that tells me that I don’t have a disease. It’s a constant release of pride, selfishness, jealousy and fantasy in exchange for living in the now moment, humility, powerlessness and realism. It’s understanding that truly only God can restore me to sanity and without turning over my addiction and those tempting moments over to Him, I will forever be living in denial and relapse; a deadly fantasy.

So, for today’s recovery on Step three, here are some very thought provoking questions for you to meditate on. I encourage you to take the time every day to go over these and answer honestly, it’s one of the best ways you can love yourself into wholeness. These questions are reprinted from the Life Recovery Workbook by Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop, pages 25-28.

Trusting God
Numbers 23:18-24

1. What in my life has taught me not to trust God?

2. What have I done to cause others not to trust me?

3. What keeps me from surrendering to God?

Free to Choose
Deuteronomy 30:15-20
1.What is it about my understanding of God that blocks me from deciding to turn my life and my will over to His care?

2. How does fear affect my choices?

Giving up control
Psalm 61:1-8

1. Where did I get the illusion that I can control other people or my circumstances, job or life?

2. What stops me from giving up my life, so that I can find the life God intends for me?

Redeeming the Past
Isaiah 54:4-8

1. How do I hold God the Redeemer at arm’s length? Why?

2. What fears have the most power in my life?

3. How is shame connected to fear in me?

Submission and Rest
Matthew 11:27-30

1. Why do I think that I am able to handle my addictions/dependencies on my own with no help from outside myself?

2. How ready am I to be taught?

3. What characteristics interfere with my being taught by Jesus or another person?

Discovering God
Acts 17:22-28

1. How does my life reflect my image of God at any given moment?

2. How do I define the word surrender?

3. What is the difference between “my will” and “my life”?

Single-Minded Devotion
James 4:7-10

1. What does resistance look like in my life?

2. What do I have to face in myself when I draw close to God?

3. How is addiction connected to my resistance to God’s direction in my life?

God Bless,

Nikki DuBose

Sky & Sand Editorial, Space Magazine with Oscar Munar, Ibiza

Editorial: “Sky & Sand”

Space Magazine, June 2012

Ph: Oscar Munar

Shot in: Ibiza

Styling: Katia Gregori

Hair and MUA: Luiz Mantei

XOXO

God Bless the World

Nikki DuBose









Mia Magazine Cover February 2012 Spain

Photographer: Fede Serra
Mia Magazine Cover, February 2012, Spain.

God Bless,
Nikki DuBose

Fashion with Jack Eames and the F.A.M.E. Team/London

Photographer: Jack Eames

Shot in London with the F.A.M.E. Team and GHD.

XOXO

God Bless the World

Nikki DuBose







FHM, “Carioca Tres Chic”

FHM Magazine, Spain.

Photographer: Juanjo Molina

XOXO

God Bless the World

Nikki DuBose












Glamour Magazine by Juanjo Molina

Glamour Magazine, Latin America.

Photographer: Juanjo Molina.

Shot in Miami, Florida

XOXO

God Bless the World

Nikki DuBose